Happy Now

 

-Are you happy?
-Yes, of course I’m happy! I’ve got a nice place to live, to put my stuff, to lay my head. I have a nice car, I like my job, I take trips sometimes and I have good friends that make me smile. What else could I ask for?
-No one is asking. Sounds like you have it all figured out.
-Well, I wouldn’t mind being in a little bit better shape.
-Wouldn’t we all?
-Its just really hard and I don’t really have time to get to the gym.
-Why not?
-I work a lot, I guess. By the time I get home, Im really tired and all I want to do is relax and have a drink. Sometimes, my friends will get me up and out of the house and we have a great time, but then I feel like shit the next day. I have to go back to work and I just can’t wait to leave. I day dream about taking that trip. I get to spend a lot of time on Instagram, though, haha.
-Your work doesn’t keep you busy?
-It does, but its so boring and monotonous that I have to entertain myself. Sometimes we talk about workplace drama, or what people did on the weekend. I get lost in Bumble sometimes, lol.
-I thought you were in a relationship?
-I am, its just hilarious and fun. The things people put on there haha.
-Do you two go out and do things?
-We go out sometimes, but mostly just on the weekend. Usually we just stay home and watch movies or our shows; we love our shows.
-That sounds really nice.
-Ya, it is. Well, sometimes it seems like he is more interested in his phone and video games, than in me. We used to go on adventures and make plans for the future, but now we don’t really do anything different. And there are a lot of projects I want to do and I do really want to get back in shape.
-So, do it.
-Its not that simple. Besides, we were thinking of having a baby soon.
-That would certainly make things interesting again.
-Whats that supposed to mean?
-Nothing…Why is it not that simple? What are you going to do?
-That isn’t how things work. Either way, I should get a raise next year and we might move to a different spot that has a gym.
-You are willing to wait a whole year? What if you don’t get the raise?
-Its not that long.
-Neither is a life span.
-………
-Why don’t you get a different job so you have more time?
-Ughh…I like this job, it pays well and I know everyone. I don’t really want to have to start over.
-So, you like it because it pays well? Would you do it if you weren’t getting paid?
-Fuck no!
-Well, why do it then? Is money really your goal?
-No way!
-Are you sure? Maybe its because its familiar. You know, you can always make more money, but you can never get more time.
-True, I guess.
-What is happy to you? Having enough money to survive and be comfortable only to sacrifice your health and time, or having enough time to see your loved ones and do the things that excite you?
-hahaha lets be practical here. I have to have a job! Ill be able to have a bit more time after the raise.
-Who is really being practical? You are telling me that maintaining a lifestyle that necessitates perpetual numbing for the sake of comfort and social status is better than being healthy and pursuing passions. Obviously, Im not advocating homelessness, you have to pay your bills, but when does it end? When does it transition from paying dues to the life you were after?
-I told you, next year!
-You really think the raise is going to come with more time? Or would it be more work?
-………
-Is this the type of life you want 5 years from now? 10 years from now? Are you ok with that?
-No. Its not going to be like this forever.
-Why not? Im sure most people think that and then they wake up at 45 and go through a midlife crisis because it never changed. What are you doing now that will make a different future possible?
-Well…I don’t know…it won’t be like this though.
-Why? Our future is just an accumulation of many “todays.” If you never change anything, why would your future “today” be any different than this one? It takes effort and time to make big changes. They don’t just happen by chance. Only by conscious, concerted effort does one’s life ever change for the better in a profound way.
-Shut up. You don’t know what you are talking about.
-Why are you getting angry? We are just talking. Are you getting frustrated because I am illuminating some things you left in the dark. Just because you censor parts of your life doesn’t mean they aren’t there. Wouldn’t you like to address them so you can change them?
-Fuck off! Why do you want to make me feel like shit
-Ya, sorry for making you unhappy…I was just trying to be a good friend.
-Well, good friends don’t make you feel shitty.
-You just want me to tell you what you want to hear? Then I would be like everyone else. I thought good friends were the ones who called you on your bullshit and told you what you needed to hear? Are we not close enough to help each other move forward in life?
-I guess you are right. Its just scary. I’ve spent so long going down this career path and I don’t even like it. What the Fuck?
-Its ok to be wrong, but honestly, I don’t think you are wrong. If you hadn’t gone down that path, you wouldn’t be who you are today and coming from someone that has known you forever, I think you can do anything. I’ve always looked up to you because you kick ass in everything you do.
-Thank you 🙂 So what now?
-There isn’t any one way. There are infinite possibilities and opportunity is everywhere. We just have to start looking. Its going to take some time and a lot of work, but there has to be a better way. Im tired of this too. I don’t want to crave a bottle of wine or alcohol every night just to go to bed. I don’t want to feel like something is missing anymore and I want to be excited to go to work. I want to build a reality that doesn’t make me wish I was sedated…
-So how do we do this?
-I think it starts with two questions.
-Which are?
-Are you ready for a change? We already established that we both are. I love my life, but I want something better, something different.
-And the next?
-Where does your joy meet the world’s need? What makes you happy? What excites you? What do you look forward to?
-So how does that help? How does that change anything?
-Well, Im not sure exactly, yet. But I do know that if we keep chasing those things, eventually we will find a way to combine our passions with a need of the world. Im pretty sure thats called a Vocation. The difficulty is being persistent enough to find it and then dedicated enough to make it work. That means lots of learning, lots of growth and lots of change. Are you up for it? We are going to need each other.
-Im in! Lets do it! I am happy now, but I don’t want to just survive, I want to thrive, I want to flourish. Im a peacock, society’s gotta let me fly!
-Ok, shut up haha. Lets ask someone that looks like they have it figured out. Actually, lets ask a bunch of people. We can start there.

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