#WhoNeedsAFlashlight?

Lets get real right now…
 
I want to think of myself as a positive person, but in the last year, or so, I have let myself slip farther and farther towards the dark shadows of my mind and I didn’t even know it. I was still doing my best to be outwardly positive, but on the inside, I was a mess. Sure, I went through a few things that shook me to my knees, but it wasn’t the first time and probably won’t be the last. Im not really sure why the fallout lingered so heavily, maybe the intensity of the mistakes, or the gravity of their consequences, but ultimately it is our attitude and mindset that sets us free.
 
My biggest issue, like many of us, is that Im my biggest critic. I expected to be much farther along in my businesses by now. I’ve been focused on my failures and deficiencies, the absence of larger success and the ghastly mistakes I made in the recent past. Can anyone see the problem here? Number one: I wasn’t doing what I was telling others to do, even if it was just mentally. Number two: I was focusing on the negative, focusing on success instead of excellence and although I had come to terms with the bumps in my road, I was still allowing past failures to cast shadows on my otherwise bright future.
 
This kind of behavior is exactly why I am not where I think I should be. But again, here is some flawed thinking that holds us back. There is no where I should be. You are always right where you should be. The mistakes, the stumbles, the set back, they are all stepping stones to greater understanding and a prerequisite to reaching our desired destination. If we are stuck, it means there is something we must learn before we can move onto the next stage of life; I’ve been stuck for a while.
 
The other day, my big sister, my best friend, and roomy (haha) sat me down and with tears in her eyes, proceeded to give me some tough love. Well, it wasn’t too tough, but it was what I needed to hear. She metaphorically threw me a flashlight, showed me where the light was so that I could come out of the dark tunnel I had put myself in. This may seem silly, but I feel as though I can see again and its all because of a shift in mindset, initiated by someone who cared.
 
From now on, at least 3 times a week, I am going to make a post about something I am grateful for. As all of you know, you can reach out any time, but I hope those posts will remind you to reach out if you need a little light in your darkness, or inspire you to throw someone a flashlight that may need it.
 
To start things off, I am grateful for my beautiful sister and her incredibly cool/kind husband, Charlie. When my world was turned upside down multiple times in a row, they offered me a place to live. Im not exactly pleased with myself because I’ve been living with them a bit longer than I planned, but as I said before, the fault is mine. I was unwilling to grow and so my life could not move forward.
 
To everyone that thinks Im somehow different, or special, you read that correctly; I live on a floor right now and my shoes have holes in them because I have to invest the money I am making back into my business. I know that the people on the internet in the fancy pictures pretend like they have all their shit together, but the majority don’t. Even the ones that have over 100k often struggle just like everyone else. They usually have regular jobs and hide their humanity to promote the idealistic image they cultivate. Some of them do have their shit together, but either way, it doesn’t matter. You are allowed to be both, a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.
 
Instead of letting anxiety and frustration grow because I am focused on not being where I want to be, I need to remember how amazingly far I have come. Although I am technically homeless right now, I have been real homeless and the two are so very far apart. Back then, I had no idea how I was going to salvage my future and the thought of it made me cringe. Now, I am so excited to see where I bring my life that sometimes I stay up late just because I am excited and giddy.
 
I cannot forget to recognize how incredible RIGHT NOW is and remind myself that focusing on excellence, instead of lack of success, will actually allow me to get there. And I will get there, soon, just watch me grow 🙂 I have to remember the fact that for the last two years, I have supported myself running my own business. That alone is something I should be proud of. Yes, Ive had ups and downs, but the the slumps have been my education. There is nothing that can stop me, now that I have gotten out of my way.
 
For anyone feeling lost, aimless, hopeless, or unworthy, I hope that my situation and conviction to change it can be an inspiration to help guide you to your bright future. I believe Mark Twain said it many years ago, “The two most important days of your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” Recently, I heard a great man mention this quote, but he added a third day. He said, “the three most important days in your life are the day you are born, the day you find out why and the day you discover the vehicle for how you will chase that why.” In the last two years, I found my purpose and was also able to recognize my vehicle when it presented itself. In other words, I have found my calling and have been able to create a vocation because of a great opportunity, but none of that would have mattered, if someone hadn’t thrown me a flashlight and for that, I am eternally grateful!
 
#whoneedsaflashlight #family #spreadthelight #happy #grateful #thankful #entrepreneur
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